I'm just curious. I figured once we became peers, you would be hitting me up to hang out. Your DMs aren't getting through to me. Did you lose your phone? Are you on vocal rest?
Maybe... you don't know that I'm extremely famous now? While this seems highly improbable, just in case, let me fill you in on what I've been up to this month.
The Best American Comics 2015
@justinbieber you're familiar with the premier yearly anthology for comics, but perhaps your copy hasn't arrived in the mail yet. My comic Someone Please Have Sex With Me is in it.
I did a panel with Bill Kartalopolous and Anya Davidson at Quimby's to promote it.
The audience is hanging off our every word!!!
Here I am with my good friends, David and Sean. Similar to you, I keep my childhood friends in my entourage to keep me grounded. #NoNewFriends
Yet even they get starstruck.
After the panel, I went out and had a delicious drink, it was the Master Cleanse with bourbon. Very Hollywood, baby!!!
I have a new comic in the latest issue of Lumpen Magazine. It's called I'm Funnier Than Your Girlfriend, And I Have Fewer Sexual Limits: Let Me Make My Case. Apparently, Someone Please Have Sex With Me was not clear enough. Note to my family and future employers: this title is obviously a joke.* It's really silly, fun comic! Just kidding!! Ha ha!!!
Here I am posing in front of the original art at the release party at Co-Prosperity Sphere. I interrupted a man reading my comic and asked him to take my picture next to it. #paparazzi
*Note to @justinbieber and all men, this is not a joke. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THIS IS A JOKE? Not one person has ever read any of my comics and then sent me an email, subject line: Let's Do This.
Visiting Keiler Roberts and her class at SAIC
@justinbieber your new album Purpose has inspired me. Sure it's not out yet (November 13th!), but the artwork and your words have got me thinking: what is my purpose? We know yours is to grace us with your angelic voice; every note that passes your lips is a gift. And me, well, I've found some fulfillment in visiting young people to impart my wisdom. We're making the world a better place.
Anyways @justinbieber that's what's happened to me this month. Soon, I'll probably be getting a verified account on Twitter. I look forward to hearing from you, so we can hang out and be celebrities together. Ride our segways and roll Swishers. Open a nightclub together and pop bottles. Record a duet. Who knows...